The Art of Losing Edited by: Kevin Young

My love for blogging comes from my need to express and share all the things I love with others. To inspire others as I am inspired and to celebrate the things I love with the importance they deserve.

I went to my public library yesterday with the intention of just returning two VHS tapes my brother and I had rented however I couldn't help myself so I left with two unique books in hand. One is called I Would Be Prettier If... and the other is The Art of Losing and thats the treasure I wanted to mention today. The Art of Losing is a collection of contemporary classical poems written in the twentieth century and after. Now there is one thing I love even more than the actual poems in this book and it is the beautiful introduction written by Kevin Young.

Now I must insert an excerpt of that here:

"I have begun to believe in, and even to preach, a poetry of necessity. This is a recognition not just of necessity of poerty to our lives, but also the fact that necessity is what drives most of the poerty that matters, or that way it matters. The best poems, it seems to me, evince their origins in the need to speak, or to write; to render a complex fate simply: to render chaos as chaos; or to examine the unseen complexities of seemingly simple, even everyday, experience. A poem must be willing to be unwilled, beckoned by need."

I hope you are all enjoying your summer and the wonderful literature of our times.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

I am currently wearing a cute brown dress that pays homage to Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" including the pearl necklace and the matching bracelet. All that I am missing are little white gloves but I feel that would be a bit much for the 80 degree weather.

I am currently listening to Paramore track number 7 on my I Pod, the album is apparently unknown.

I keep thinking about the upcoming year. The job I do not have yet, the car I will eventually buy, the cell phone bill I will have to pay soon, and all the traveling I plan to do. I hope to spend my year off with good friends, interesting jobs, new adventures, and plenty of good stories to tell along the way. It’s amazing to believe that I am finally officially done with high school. I can't even believe it yet. I am overwhelmed and moved to do greatness with this blank canvas that is my future. It’s amazing to be able to feel such freedom and be without restrictions.

I plan to enjoy this summer with every ounce of me and to remember it as best as possible. Never have I realized how quickly time really does pass and how short life is. I know that I am only 18 but it just feels like the beginning of everything. I wonder if, when I look back on this blog I will feel embarrassed by my younger “poetic abstract” self.

“I’ve gone for too long living like I’m not alive, so I’m going to start over tonight” -Miracle (track number 7) By: Paramore

I hope the class of 2010 realizes what amazing opportunities we have all been given and what a wonderful accomplishment we have all achieved. I am filled with such wonderful nervous excited energy and I must capture it so that this wonderful feeling never leaves me.

“When this memory fades I’m going to make sure it’s replaced with chances taken, hope embraced.” –Miracle By: Paramore

Into the void of the internet

I have been cell phone shopping the past two days and I have realized something I already kind of knew (if thats possible). I demand this ungodly degree of perfection that I don't even begin poses. And the worst thing about it is that I measure everyone and everything up to this degree of perfection. I assume it is because I was raised believing that I deserved nothing but the very best and I just ran with it. Whatever the reason may be it isn't fair thats I do this and I just end up driving myself insane. For example I haven't owned a cell phone for over three years now so I feel very out of tone with the new technology that is available but for some reason I either like the really REALLY expensive phones or I don't like any of the rest. I should be jumping for joy at the idea of owning any kind of cell phone at this point, but nope I am being incredibly picky.

What little irritating habits do you have?

Here are some quotes I am loving at the moment:
"The world isn't going to end just because we've done everything wrong. Though that would be easier." -Comic

"So now, alone or not, you've got to walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. " - P.S. I Love You

"This is a book about people and animals and things I care about. It's about growing up and showing your stuff, finding love, winning and losing, and getting older. It's about where I began and where I came to at a particular time in my life as a person and as a writer. And I suppose it's also about where I'm headed, through I never seem to realize such things at the time. We come, we do, we go, and the doing can be rather a grand voyage if you don't panic and if you believe as I believe in imagination." -Robert J. Waller

Becoming an internet blogger has allowed me a place where I can post whatever it is that I love. It has helped me grow as a writer even if no one ever reads my work, just knowing that maybe someone will come across this one day and scan through it is enough for me.

Into the void of the internet.

Keep A Poem In Your Pocket

I was recently talking to a little boy about what he had done in school that day and all he could go on and on about was something called Keep a Poem in Your Pocket. As he spoke I was instantly transported back to my 3rd grade classroom where I would probably be seated next to Rema and a group of other girls reading each other's folded paper poems. I recall really enjoying this event and the idea of always having a little piece of something that could sooth me, calm me, and bring happiness instantly. However as I grew up I somehow managed to forget the beauty that a small poem is able to convey. I became more interested in long novels that use complicated words to explain a feeling I could have described in just one. So as I was looking through an old book of quotes I have I found a few poems that I still adore. This is one of them, I don't know the author is or where exactly I found it but all I know is that I love it. I hope you enjoy it too.

These are the things I could not tell you
Things that remind me of you when I want nothing more than to forget
Things that have gone wrong
Things that have gone right
Things that will never happen
Things that are your fault
The fault of no one
These are the things that we did not do and will not let go of
-Love Notes

Mia, my new pet rabbit.

Most of you may know I have beautiful male rabbit named Kikko. We adopted him over 3 years ago and have been very happy with him. But recently with the loss of Priscilla my pet rat we all felt like it was time to find another female pet and why not a bunny so Kikko could finally have a friend. We decided to check out our nearest animal shelter and see if they had any pet bunnies that would get along well with Kikko. My local animal shelter actually had 3 bunnies. Unfortunately one of them was a male rabbit which would be a problem because two male bunnies normally tend to attack each other. Luckily there were two female rabbits that were both very sweet and loving. We set up what my animal shelter likes to call a “meet and great” which consisted of us bringing in Kikko to meet with the two other female rabbits and see which one he would get along with the best. He ended up liking a rabbit called Strikes the most so we quickly filled adoption papers and waited to see if they would release her to us. The process toke about a couple of days and she was finally released to us on Wednesday of this week. It has been really exciting to have a new member of the family. We changed her name from Streaks to Mia because we felt it would flow better with Kikko’s name. Mia is white with a couple of black accents and Kikko is all black.

If you are ever looking to adopt a pet please check out your animal shelter first. They have such a huge variety of pets that I am almost certain you will find one that captures you heart. And if you’re local animal shelter doesn’t than check other nearby shelters. These animals want nothing more than to have a home and to share unconditional love with someone. The next time you are interested in buying any pet weather it’s a cat, bird, or dogs check out your shelter first you might be very surprised with what you find.

I hope you enjoy the pets in your life,
Angela

Graduation Memories

I was looking through an old year book from my middle school and it surprised me quite a bit. Picture after picture, row after row of boys and girls in whine colored gowns I realized we all had a lot more in common than we thought. Once we were all taken away from our circle of friends, our personal style and our attitudes we all were all the same. We were all slightly awkward; girls with our un plucked eyebrows or our failed attempts at putting on makeup and little boys trying to pretend they were way cooler than they really were. We were all clueless and would remain that way for quite a while, who knows maybe we still are. But looking back at all these people, boys who I wished would notice me and girls I wish I looked like, none of them were quite as great as I remembered them to be. Maybe it’s because anyone looks absolutely ridiculous in a cap and gown or maybe the fact that we all had to smile awkwardly into a camera that was held by a person we didn’t even know. But it was probably just uncertainty that registered across all of our faces that day. Wondering what we would all become. I remember thinking how strange it was that I had to take graduation pictures in February way before even knowing if I would graduate or not. It just seemed cruel for everyone to get suited up in caps and gowns but knowing that not all of us would be standing next to one another on graduation day. It was like a tiny taste of what everyone else would experience. I guess it was meant to motivate those who were falling behind but all it did to me so terrify me. I honestly believe we were all thinking such things that morning when the camera man captured our faces and fake smiles.

-Angela Garcia

4 Amazing Questions

I originally saw these 4 questions on a YouTube video and tried to make my own video answering these questions. Needless to say it was a total fail. So I decided I would blog about them instead and in the comments you guys should answer them too, there amazing questions that I think matter.

1. Who is one stranger that changed your life and what did they do for you?
The stranger that changed my life would have to be this girl I saw at my local coffee shop. She walked with her dad and I immediately noticed that she was wearing the same turquoise earrings as I and she noticed as well. She turned to her dad and pointed at me and we both smiled. We didn’t say any anything to each other but we shared a moment. This meant so much to me because girls are known for being very competitive and stuck up when two people are wearing the same thing. But there was none of that here she was sweet and seems very laid back.

2. If you could freeze one moment in your life, what would it be?
This question was the hardest one for me to answer because I have so many moments I wish I would freeze because the most beautiful of moments always tend to be the most fleeting. So I couldn’t possible pick just one moment but any moment that has ever involved someone I love.

3. If you could contribute one thing to the world, what would it be?
HAPPINESS! The world needs so much happiness, love, and truth but if I could contribute one thing it would be happiness. The definition of happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by content, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. If we all felt a little happier and a little more confident the world would be very different. And that’s a huge reason why I started Our Beauty Struggles.

4. Pick one personality trait you love about yourself and explain why.
Everyone should answer this question even if it isn’t in the comment section of this blog. We are always so willing to point our flaws, weaknesses, and faults but were never so willing to admit our achievements and show our beauty for fear of being thought of as conceded. But if we all looked at our very own achievements more often eating disorders wouldn’t be rising as quickly as they are. With that said the thing I love most about me is how easily I can connect with people. It’s a personal trait that has been most helped Our Beauty Struggles become as successful as it has.

-Angela Garcia

http://www.ourbeautystruggles.com/index.html

Perfection Isn't Real!!!

I am a huge foodie and I am constantly watching the Food Network. Ironically enough I don’t cook very often. So I have started doing much more and my first meal was one I know like the back of my hand. I decided to make angel pasta with white sauce served next to chicken, mushrooms and onions. The chicken and vegetables tasted great and the pasta was cooked perfectly al dente but I somehow let the white sauce bowl more than it should have and it got very thick and chunky looking. Without thinking I poured the sauce onto the pasta anyway, needless to say it was a mess that ended with me eating my dinner in the basement away from my family crying.

I hate that I reacted so strongly to a tiny little mistake like this one but that’s the way I act whenever I make a mistake. I still get so wrapped up in trying to reach this notion of perfection that I tend to miss the greater picture the important parts of life. I wasn't able to enjoy a meal with my family because I was so embarrassed. I know that perfection is this unattainable concept and if I attempt to reach for it I am setting myself up to fail because nothing I do will ever reach perfection.

I can happily say that I didn’t let that small disaster stop from cooking other dinners. The week after that I made a pizza that I was really proud of. I made my own dough topped with my mother’s amazing homemade pasta sauce, garlic chicken, red peppers, and one red onion. I can’t wait to continue cooking different foods. Cooking for me makes me feel the same way painting does because I put so much of myself into my work that when it doesn’t come out the way I like I feel as though its personal. I now appreciate my mom’s hard work so much more than I ever realized because cooking for my family is not an easy thing!

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." -Anna Quindlen

"A beautiful thing is never perfect." -Proverb

Check out my web site for another blog about struggling with perfection.

http://www.ourbeautystruggles.com/1/post/2010/01/the-ugly-truth-about-perfection.html

-Angela

My Personal Life

Hey everyone, even though I spend what feels like every waking moment on the computer, it seems as though I am returning to a long lost lover. I haven't been very active on Twitter nor have I posted a new blog on Our Beauty Struggles lately because my life has been very hectic lately. And I have definitely been around way to much death the last couple of weeks.

First of a girl I knew was raped and murdered over 3 weeks ago by her brother in law. This was not only completely unexpected and shocking but also eye opening. This world isn't the safe place I knew as home, now I am much more aware of the man behind me in the super market line purchasing milk or that strange car parked outside my house a little bit longer than necessary. I am no longer the naive girl I used to be and I know that a lot of other girls that knew Jenny have been affected the same way. "Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short." (Revelation 12:12)

And secondly my sweet Priscilla was put down the 25th of March and her "absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle, everything I do is stitched with its color." (W.S. Merwin) She managed to bite open her tumor Wednesday night, even though she didn't seem to be in any pain we couldn't have left her opened like that. So we rushed Priscilla to the vet as earliest as they could take her and had her put down. My brother, my mother and I sat there all crying for the loss of our fury friend. We asked to have the body returned to us so we could bury her in the garden. She now resides under the wild yellow tulips that come out every hot summer. Her active craziness will be always missed.

Aside from all that sadness I have just been very busy with my last year of high school. I just can't wait to graduate on June 5th and start the rest of my life, the beginning of something new.

-Angela Garcia

P.S. If you didn't know Priscilla was my pet rat.

Help raise awareness to eating disorder by checking out O.B.S and leaving a comment showing your support. http://www.ourbeautystruggles.com/my-blog.html

Memories

“Blazing across the night sky, like shards of broken stars floating images of you, flickering in the darkened haze of my memory, stirring the warm ashes of longing to see you, in the early morning light, to hear your laughter from the next room, to feel your hand resting on my shoulder to have you here once again.”

This short poem was written in 2005 a year after September 11th by a firefighter I believe and I think it conveys the feeling of loss so well. Wouldn’t you have been able to assume it was about sadness and the loss of something without me having to tell you? I hope so. Similar to what I wrote previously the idea of time has always fascinated me, which is why I keep old photos, recites, any kind of ticket stubs, and loved creating scrap books. You truly only realize how short life is when you experience the loss of something.

Like when you’re sitting on a coach with a pillow by your side and then someone asks you for it and once you hand it over you instantly feel the loss, the space the pillow leaves behind. You then have to readjust so your side isn’t exposed because of the missing pillow. That’s the way death and the loss of anything really. We all grow to be so accustomed to having certain things and people in life that once they are gone we finally realize how important they truly were to begin with.

Being able to look back at photos, home videos, old letters and old perfume you wore one summer, is just an instant form of memory traveling that makes the past seems a little bit closer. I wish I would have saved old perfume bottles because I find that smell is the most effective way to "time travel." In a world where everything is so impersonal, were love letters have turned into cold emails that eventually become erased because your email is over flowing with myspace updates. It’s nice to be able to hold onto something human, something tangible to remind us all that yes, time has passed.

-Angela

P.S. The picture at the top is actually a beautiful old card that was given to me by one of the loveliest women I have ever meet. She used to call me Miss. Angela Garcia and wrote to me about her travels and her life experiences. This specific letter was about how she meet her husband for the first time. It was beautiful.

Most Guy Syndrome

My mother recently told me that when she was a teenager she would always say that she wanted to marry a guy who was an orphan because then she wouldn’t have to deal with a nosy mother in-law. Little did she know that she would marry a man with a huge Puerto Rican family that is far from the words quite. However now I understand what she meant about wanting to marry an orphan and I am going to call it “most guys syndrome.”

Now the symstophms of this syndrome cannot be mistaken or ignored. You know your husband or boyfriend has this syndrome when after you cook him a meal with love and care he complains about how it will never compare to his mothers. Or when describing the perfect girl he mentions distinct qualities his mother or sister have, like curly hair, long legs, or short girls. And I know that most boys do do this. For instance whenever I cut my hair short my brother hates it because for most of my life I’ve kept it long and it is what he was grown used to. When he dos find a girlfriend I am almost certain that she will be similar in body weight and long hair, because thats his type.

And for the most part there is nothing wrong with this syndrome, if anything I find it endearing and cute that guys believe you can match up to the women that raised them. However some guys (like my father) place their mothers on such high pedestals that very few women can actually reach. So then they find themselves competing against there mothers which is a terrible position to be in, quite frankly.

Guys should be conscious of this and make it much easier for there other half to get along with there beloved mothers. The amazing example in the bible of Ruth and her mother in-law Naomi.

Ruth 1:22- So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest.

-Angela

Time

Ever since I was about 11 years old the concept of time always fascinated me, I even started collecting quotes and poems on the subject.

For instance this is one of my favorite poems from a book called If You Come Softly by Jacqueline Woodsoon: “This is how time moves an hour here and day somewhere and then its night and then its morning. A clock ticking on a self, a small child running to school, a father coming home. Times over us and past us and feeling of lips pressed against lips fade into memory. A picture yellows at its edges, a phone rings in an empty room. Time comes to us softly slowly. It sits besides us for a while. Then long before we are ready it moves on.”

I may have enjoyed this quote because I love over dramatic things however I also love the concept of time because it is incredibly fleeting, the thought that the last sentence I just wrote is part of the past is incredible.

I remember missing the bus on a freezing cold winter day, the kind of cold that just seeps into your bones and hurts no matter how many layers you have on. I started getting really anxious because it was so cold and I just wanted to go home, so the way I calmed myself down was thinking that in an hour or so I would be in my warm house.

It’s just amazing to me how vivid and real life is like the “feeling of lips pressed against lips” a hug, or even a conversation may be but in a matter of days it fades away and our days turn into memories. Even though it is a bit depressing it’s also beautiful to know that if you are ever in pain or suffering a problem there will always be brighter times ahead of you and all the bad stuff will just feel like a memory.

“…And then its night and then its morning.”

-Angela Garcia

P.S. The beautiful picture at the top of my blog is by an amazing photographer who I recently found named Justine S. Check out more of her work here: http://neyle.deviantart.com/

Children

What comes to your mind when you think of children? Maybe it’s their tiny little fingers, contagious laughter, endless imagination, or there amazing courage to say everything that is on their mind. But whatever you do think of I can only imagine it will bring an instant smile to your face. I think of the words Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 18:13 “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus knew how pure the heart of a child was and how they were like a clean canvases with no evil or bad in their hearts.

One of the things that never cease to surprise me about children is that they truly believe they can be anything they want to be. If you ever ask a child what they want to do when they grow up they will always tell you something amazing, like an astronauts or presidents. And unfortunately as we grow up most of us loss that ability to believe we can be whatever we want to be and the world becomes a complicated place. Why do we allow this to happen to us?

I also love how children always ask questions about everything because at that age the world is so new to them that they want to find out all the answers. It’s sad because the world is still this magical place full of endless possibilities and full of unanswered questions we just stop asking because we’re afraid of what the answers might be. I think we should all be like children discovering new things and allowing ourselves the chance to do what we wanted to do as children, no matter how outrageous they may seem to us now.

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. ~Author Unknown

-Angela Garcia

This I believe is true:

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that feeling love was the equivalent of looking into the eyes of God, and I have been able to experience that feeling over and over again. However I think that there is something to be said about the love animals and humans can share for one another. I have the cutest pet rat named Priscilla. I remember the day she was brought home from the pet shop; she was so small and white; she kept excessively licking herself and sneezing. My 14 year old brother picked her out on his own because I was completely grossed out with the idea of having a rat for a pet, but slowly she melted my heart, my mother’s heart, and, with time, even my father’s. My brother said he chose her because she was in the corner of the cage all by herself and he didn’t want her to be lonely, but after a couple of days of having her we realized it was because of her over active craziness that the other rats probably didn’t want to play with her.

Priscilla has been a member of the family for almost a year now, and in that time spam I have seen her cry when she wants to be let out of her cage, jump for joy at my brother’s return from a sleep over, and she has even licked my tears away as I cried, trying to sooth me. Even though Priscilla can’t speak, she understands. However, female rats that don’t have babies develop tumors that end their short lives prematurely. Unfortunately, Priscilla has this terrible tumor that is consuming her slowly and eventually we will have to put her to sleep. I’m crying hysterically as I write this because I will miss her pearly white fur, her little pink hands, and her sharp teeth that ruin any material in sight immensely. The thought that when I have a bad day she won’t be around to make me laugh or steal my food when I’m eating is so sad. My most favorite memory, how she falls asleep in my hair when I lie down, will make me miss her even more when she is gone.

Animals inspire unconditional love, creativity, and motivation to become a better person. Priscilla bites everything- which is why I don’t allow her on my bed a lot. I don’t want to have my bed sheets resemble Swiss cheese. However, when she does chew on them all I manage is a weak, “Silla no!” and then pick her up, put her on my shoulder, and tilt my head so she can kiss my cheek. She has made my brother and me much more responsible because she is an animal that needs interaction and to be loved; she can’t just be left in her cage. As a result of this, she has to be let out and played with for at least an hour every day and, like any other pet, she needs to be bathed, which is an impossible task. Even though she is incredibly annoying, she has so much personality that she will be greatly missed. This I believe is true, that the love an animal gives can change the life of a person and a family.

-Angela Garcia

If I were a...

If I were a gemstone I would be a black pearl; beautiful, elegant but with a hint of mystery.

If I were a scent I would be a mix between Turpentine and Tommy Girl perfume. Those two scents together really reminds me of all the days I would spend in the art studio painting with oils when I was younger.

If I were a pair of shoes I would be a pair of Marc Jacob pumps with read soles.

If I were the weather I would be a beautiful autumn day with stunning orange, yellow, and brown leaves.

If I were a facial expression I would be a huge wide smile.

If I were a time of day I would be morning when the sun starts rise. When the sky first turns pink and pours into windows reminding people that a new day is about to come.

If I were a taste I would be the amazing taste of a chilled watermelon that dribbles juice down your chin on a hot summer day.

If I were a musical instrument I would be a violin that can be melancholy and sweet but also strong and powerful.

If I were a flower I would be a bright sunflower that just instantly causes happiness.

If I were a song I would be Heal Over by KT Tunstall.

If I were a planet I would be Saturn.

If I were a sound I would be laughter.

If I were a day of the week I would be Thursday because it’s just this beautiful reminder that the weekend is coming soon.

-Angela Garcia

P.S. The painting above was created by me, it was mean to express what a tree would look like in my world and what it looks like to others.

True Happiness

I would consider myself a fairly happy person; I have even been identified many times as the girl with a huge smile and dark eyes. However I do love to through a good pity party, where I sit sulking over my problems and mistakes for longer than needed because I can’t be perfect, like a lot of girls do.

So I was recently reading a book called Sophie’s World by: Jostein Gaarder that is a novel about the history of philosophy and always raises really thought provoking questions.

“True happiness lies in not being dependent of such random and fleeting things. And because happiness does not consist in benefits if this kind it is within everyone’s reach. Moreover have once been attained, it can never be lost.” So according to this quote from the book Sophie’s World happiness isn’t found in the fleeting things like friends or sports or anything else, it has to come from within. And honestly this feels a little bit impossible to me because if I am ever in a fight with my friends or family I turn to something else like another person or art and music. However the problem with this is that those are trivial things that could be taken away from me at any time and then I would no longer be happy in theory because I wouldn’t have my sources of happiness.

So after much thought and conversation about what perfect happiness really is I finally come up with the answer. “My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior--from violent men you save me.” (2 Samuel 22:3) God is the only ever constant thing, which can never be taken away from anyone even if everything else I love is, God will always be there to comfort me. I truly believe that looking for true happiness inside of you is a lot more of an atheist idea because they only relay on themselves, but not those who follow the true God you will never be alone and you will never feel unhappy. "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in God." (Psalms 31:24)

-Angela Garcia

With Out Love You Have Nothing

I recently read this bible text from I Corinthians 13: 2, 3 and it reads “And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.”

I completely adore this bible text because it’s just a beautiful reminder of how important loving others truly is. God is not only a God of love, but he is love like it says in 1 John, everything he does it motivated by love. I know it is hard for some people to love complete strangers and meet new people but we were all created from Gods image which means we are all capable of loving and honestly it’s extremely addicting. I can remember almost every good deed I have done since I was a child because it made me feel good inside. I remember one time letting an old woman cut in front of me one day when I was around 8 years old at White Castle and I processed to tell told everyone about it that day. Even though people will be rude at times try anyway, remember that are following in Jesus foot prints and what others say does not matter.

In conclusion I leave you with John 13: 35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

-Angela Garcia

Answering A Question

I was once asked by a classmate from my old school why I loved a God who was sexist, of course this girl was an Atheist like the everyone else in today day, because what’s good is bad and what is bad is good in today’s society but that’s for another blog. This girl was talking about the bible text in Ephesians 5: 21-23 and it says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husband’s as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

I am the oldest in my house by three years of age, my little brother is 14 but my entire life he has had more freedom than me and even now that I am almost 18 I can’t go anywhere without him because my parents think he will protect me and in reality even though he is only 14 he is much taller than I am and a lot stronger and much less implosive than I. This is exactly what God our loving father does, he puts a man in front of every woman to protect, to calm down, to even ground us and bring us back to reality. This of course only works if the man is a devoted love of God and lets Christ be his head.

Women are known for gossiping, twisting words, and over reacting and any truthful women will say that are one point or another they can be blamed for such a thing, I know I have. Now men are normally not known for these attributes they are mostly known for being much calmer and blind to a lot of the things women would notice in an instance. I enjoy having best friends that are guys rather than girls because they don’t care what you wear or what you like as opposed to girls who care way too much about stupid little things. Which is what makes men and women so different and why men were placed there for us by God to protect us, calm us down and point out when we are wrong.

It isn’t about women being stupid or weak it’s just about the perfect balance of life and always having someone strong and to help you. And like Ephesians 5: 25 reads “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” He isn’t trying to be little us but protect us.

-Angela

The Perfect Day

Hey as some of you may know I’m the creator of a web site called Our Beauty Struggles that is meant to raise awareness to eating disorders but that isn’t what I am going to talk about today. I was actually asked on my web site that I wanted to answer depth: What was my definition of a perfect day? It really got me thinking about my perfect day and have had two, two days that float around in my mind and bring warmth whenever I replay them in my mind; days that have that feeling of an old black and white photo that has beautifully faded edges and women in different clothing that makes it seem like a different world.

I am going to talk about my first perfect day.

I was about 12 years old but felt like I was at least 20. I am not sure why but at this point in my life my parents gave me so much freedom and treated me like an adult and now that I am almost 18 I have much less freedom. Not the point, around this time I was attending art classes in the basement of a beautiful church in Queens New York every Saturday around 4 o’clock. I looked forward to this class more than anything else in the world. My art teacher was a very strange looking women but so incredibly talented and it seemed like just by touching our canvases she would magically make it better. I also loved that you could hear the choir practicing in the church through the vents of the basement. I also loved the dim lights, how my teacher would have us put our easels in a circle and make us paint in silence. It was just us and the painting.

However my perfect day was a combination of the choir singing, the dim lights, the smell of Turpentine, the way a painting grows and changes, and as I was leaving my art class with my huge tote bag with my canvases, paints, brushes art knives and everything else I was just in this completely amazing mood. And as I was crossing the street I looked over and saw this amazing red orange sunset against the silhouette of the massive buildings.

I don’t remember anything else that happened that day which is perfect and what makes it such a dreamy hazy memory.

-Angela Garcia