I was walking by a beautiful reflective building made out of glass and I caught a glimpse of my reflection. In that reflection I was wearing black skinny jeans, a black and white hound print coat and my bright orange convers. I even complemented the glimpse I saw of myself before I realized I wasn’t wearing orange anything; I had black ballerina flats on instead. Shortly after leaving my apartment that morning I had regretted my shoe choice and would have preferred my old chucks, they would have been the perfect “pop of color” and much more practical for walking around. However the fact of the matter is I wasn’t wearing those shoes. My mind had subconsciously edited what I was actually wearing. This got me thinking about all the times I had obsessed over my appearance while a close friend or my mother assured me it was all in my head. And don’t get me wrong I’m aware that eating disorders are about distorted images we believe as truth. But something about seeing it so bluntly really put things into perspective for me. I mean if I could convince myself that I was wearing a pair of shoes then maybe it was all in my head all along. This allowed me to believe that I am beautiful and it gave me hope that one day I would allow myself to actually see ME! It was freeing. I’m not by any means done struggling. It’s something I have to constantly work on; befriending the girl in the mirror. However I believe that with experiences like these and support of my family and friends I will someday.
Leave your comments let me know what you think.
-Angela
