Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

Daniel and I in Chicago December 2014 

I have done this every year since I was probably 14 or 15; usually it is written away in a journal somewhere for no one to see. However this year I feel it is more than appropriate to share with the void of the internet. So here it goes the recap; of the hardest year I have ever lived. Its funny but I have never thought a whole year was bad before. I used to think months and periods of time were bad but usually the over all year would be fine. But this year I think my husband and I can fully agree this was the worst of them all. From the very first moment the ball dropped nothing was quite right and the year just got periodically worse. Thankfully I was able to salvage the last few month of this year and my husband and I got to make some amazing memories especially in December. And I cannot wait for 2015 to get here. This one I can tell is going to be amazing. So here are some of my goals and resolutions for the coming year:

First off I want to read more. Whenever my life is going crazy I always stop reading, even when I was in high school. I think it is because my brain is so overwhelmed it can't be bothered to think of any thing else but the confusion rolling around in my brain. Now that all is going well I would love to start reading books that inspire: love, art and lighthearted dreams.

Secondly this next one is not high on my priority list. Its actually the only thing I accomplished this year. I stuck to all my health and fitness goals. I am the strongest and in the best shape of my life. When everything got so chaotic this year I would go for a run or do yoga and I could block out all of my internal struggles. I will continue working out at home and enjoying the freedom of running and being thankful for the strong body I have. However this year I will not become a slave to my diet and my exercise.

Third I want to work on my mental health. I want to work on staying happy and healthy. I want to feel more confident asking for help and letting others know when I am not okay. I used to be all about keeping up a good facade, even when everything around me was crumbling. I have learned this year that letting people in has allowed me to become closer to my friends and my family members who knew of my struggles. I can relate better with most of them. I want to remember that no ones life is perfect and that its okay to be vulnerable and ask for help.

Fourth one is lighthearted but a must for 2015. I NEED to get my drivers licenses this year or else an anvil had better fall on my head or something awful and drastic better happen. Nothing more needs said about that.

At Carnivale a restaurant in Chicago 

Fifth I want to continue discovering myself without hurting those around me. This is something really important I learned this year. Just because I am a young mother and wife that doesn't mean I have to lose chunks of myself. With that being said I also don't need to hurt those around me while I am exploring. I want to live gently.

While exploring and getting to know myself I want to get a couple of tattoos this new year. Its a silly goal but one I have always wanted to do and would be amazing if I finally got the chance to do.

And lastly and most importantly putting my family ahead of everything. This December not only are Daniel and I happier but Dax looks so happy and has grown up so much in the last month. I want to continue growing whole and healthy with my amazing little family. I also want to apologize to my friends and family who were affected by all my actions this year. I am so extremely sorry. I love you all so much and I cannot wait to put 2014 behind me and move forward with my family and friends. See you all in the new year.

-Angela